Stereotypes are everywhere.
Stereotype #1: Because I dress in mens clothing, I must be a dyke.
Stereotype #2: Because I make no effort to look feminine, I must be a dyke.
Ok, so these stereotypes are true. I have no issues with these “labels” at all.
I know many people who are completely against labels and stereotypes in general, but the reality for me is, stereotypes are everywhere and sometimes necessary for proper classification and/or description of someone or something. In the lesbian world you have (to name just several): butch, femme, soft-butch, androgynous, futch (a mix between butch and femme but contrary to current popular belief, Tila Tequila did not coin this term, she just brought it into the spotlight with the Dani Campbell craze).
Alas, this post isn’t about gay or lesbian stereotypes in particular, I just felt mentioning them was a good way to lead into talking about stereotypes and how even me, a “stereotypical dyke,” relies on them, wrong or right.
About a month ago I was waiting for a friend outside of a bar/pool place in downtown DC. I was in the middle of texting another friend but noticed a man several hundred feet away and walking in my general direction. In my quick assessment, I also noticed he was slightly swaying in his walk and was carrying a brown paper bag covering a bottle of some sort. He was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt that weren’t exactly filthy, but weren’t freshly laundered, either.
Assumed stereotype #1 and #2: This guy is probably homeless and that bottle is most likely full of alcohol. (I assumed this because the area in which I was has a few “parks” that attract the homeless who beg the business people for money. It’s a good plan, in all honesty, but this detail will also help explain my next assumed stereotype.)
I stayed focused on my texting and before I knew it this guy was passing by me but had slowed considerably in his pace. He then stopped and opened his mouth to speak to me.
Assumed stereotype #3 led me to say, before he said anything to me at all: “Sorry, but I don’t have any spare change.”
His back went rigid and he said, rather indignantly, “I wasn’t going to ask you for money.”
So, I immediately apologized and explained I had been asked by two people in three mere blocks for some change and I assumed his intentions were the same. He then went on to point at his labret and ask me about my piercing, if it hurt, why I got it, etc. I answered his questions and, for lack of a better word, we chatted for about a minute. His speech wasn’t overly slurred, but I did get a glimpse at the bottle protruding from the bag and have no doubt it was some brand of whiskey.
He walked off, I finished my text and continued waiting for my friend, who had texted she was running late. This gave enough time for the guy to actually walk back and pass me again. I met his gaze as he looked at me. He pointed at me, smiled and said, “no more assumptions, okay?”
All in all, there’s no way of knowing if I was wrong, or if I caught him off guard enough by speaking first and he simply lied about his intentions… and because of that, I’m torn between admitting I stereotyped him incorrectly or if I was indeed right. :huh:
Current Mood:
Doubtful/Skeptical
By Angela, May 11, 2008 @ 12:21 pm
I think everyone is guilty of stereotyping. I know I am. I also think you were probably correct.. he probably was going to ask you for money.
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By Julia, May 14, 2008 @ 10:23 am
I agree with you, stereotypes ARE everywhere and most people do use them whether they want to admit it or not. It’s weird that you’ll never know what his intentions really were, but sadly enough, you were probably right about him wanting money.
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By BMM, May 16, 2008 @ 4:42 pm
Stereotypes are everywhere– I agree. I once had a man that begged me for money, yet I got a glimpse of his arm and he was wearing like a diamond ring and a gold bracelet, I’m not sure if he’s ‘rich’, because it could be some sort of treasure, but you never know.
He probably was, but you never know.
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By Vicki, May 19, 2008 @ 8:02 am
I’m not going to lie, I don’t think that you were out of line assuming. I live near Baltimore, and I think it’s perfectly normal to assume that a person with his hand in his jacket just might have a gun. You may not be right, but really- sometimes assuming things and being stereotypical can be a good thing.
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By Cheryl, May 20, 2008 @ 4:42 pm
You were probably right. And you know, we all do that. I think we’re supposed to in a way. We have to make judgments to protect ourselves…
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By Belinda, May 21, 2008 @ 9:16 pm
I think everyone is a stereotype, just some are worse and crueler than others. It was great though you had a chat with that man. Not many people would stop to talk to a stranger, especially if they look like a bum.
When people approach me, I assume they want a smoke, but they usually just ask for my lighter.
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By Nicole, May 23, 2008 @ 12:24 am
I don’t really like stereotypes but like you said, stereotypes are going to be everywhere. I’ve been guilty of stereotyping sometimes, but hey everyone’s been guilty of it at least once.
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